We all hear stories and listen to people talking about their lives or events that happen. And we all have opinions and stories of our own. It is human nature to discuss and pass them along. In ancient times, this was how news spread; by people who relate them as they pass through towns on their journey.
The problem often with verbal stories we narrate repeatedly is that they get bigger as each storyteller adds their own creative detail. The game of ‘Telephone’ or the racially inappropriately named ‘Chinese Whispers’, relies on this very concept.
As we are all different, we tell tales differently. Some like to make the story come alive with added suspense and intrigue, while others prefer to just say it like it is. And stories, once we have given it breath, become entities that can destroy or inspire.
One reason we tell tales differently, is because we do not hear them the same way. Each of us may hear the same thing, but our brains interpret them differently. The stories are filtered through our bias and all other cognitive layers before they reach us, like water going through layers of rock and soil.
So why am I telling you all of this? It is because sometimes, the best thing to do is not say anything at all.
When stories are old and unverified and might hurt someone, it is better not to tell them at all. As a storyteller, I reserve mine to fantasy and science-fiction and I write them on my computer. I try to spend as little time as possible talking about what terrible deeds someone did in the past. I don’t see the purpose of reviving them. They only bring shame, rage and hurt.
There are appropriate moments for every story. A good bedtime story is an example of a good moment. Talking about what bad thing someone did years ago, and with no concrete proof of it, only serves to hurt the individual listening to the tale. These are moments when it is better to not say anything at all.
I come from a huge family with many stories; of valour, kindness but also of treachery and shame. I pick and choose the ones I can safely talk about and those that are best locked inside a dark room.
Like fights, pick and choose the stories you want to tell. Not all of them are useful.
MyMohio 